If
by navime
Summary: The Death Note characters in different situations.
1. If Light was Dumb

If Light was dumb

Yagami Light walked slowly towards to the notebook he had seen fall from the sky, ridiculous as it sounded. When he reached for it, he read the words 'Death Note' and his curiosity peaked. The teen opened the cover eagerly, chocolate brown eyes skimming over the strange rules and felt his emotions become excited, yet dubious.

'_Just in case, I should write my name in case I lose it.' _The so-called genius thought as he absentmindedly began to write 'Yagami Light' in the notebook.


	2. If L went to the Dentist

If L went to the dentist.

For the first time in years, L Lawliet was in a dentist's office, due to Light's insistent prodding. The assistant called the panda-like man up and he sullenly entered. As Light read a magazine in the waiting room, he heard shrieks erupting from inside. His chocolate brown eyes widened as he listened to the terrified screams, and L came out thirty minutes later, looking amused.

"Ryuzaki, who was that screaming?"

"Oh, the dentist."

Light shook his head empathically for the poor dentist, and shuddered. L was more terrifying to a dentist than Light with a Death Note.

Perhaps it'd been nicer to have killed the poor man with his notebook instead of submitting him to L.


	3. If Light was Mean

If Light was mean

Light sulked, glaring outside the window of their room, cuffed to L with Misa next to him. Seeing a common sight there, and a nasty comment awaiting, he nudged Misa to see what he was pointing at.

"Misa. Look there."

"Eh? I don't see anything!" Misa pouted.

"Look Misa, there's a street." Light stated bluntly.

"Oh! I see!"

"Go sell yourself there."

The blond girl burst into tears.


	4. If L was dumb

If L was Dumb

_L would be completely and utterly fat. _Light realized suddenly, brainstorming.


	5. If Light Kissed L

If Light kissed L

Yagami Light was positively sure that L had hardly any human contact in his life, and that perhaps he was asexual… well most likely dessert-sexual. But, he wanted to feel epic knowing that he managed to catch the world's three greatest detectives! (Well it was more because he was bored and irritated; needing a release since he knew he absolutely was not Kira though L swore he was, but still.)

So Light decided to try to seduce L, because well… he was _Yagami-sexy-Light. _Mr. Perfect, with the ability to turn straight men gay! The one who had people throwing themselves all over him by simply walking down the street! He wanted the _challenge _of getting L, because he was sure he could.

Which is why the two men were lip-locked on their bed (still hand-cuffed), Light leaning in, L confused, wide eyes. As Light pulled away, he smirked.

L abruptly cleared his throat and spoke.

"Light-kun. I am aware that even though I have a tendency to break our promise about no sweets in bed, there's no reason to search my mouth for any hidden treats." L said bluntly, showing no effect of Light's kiss.

Light sat there dumbly, shocked that his irresistible charm failed, turned, and promptly proceeded to smack his sexy head against the headboard.


	6. If L met Near

If L met Near

"Near. I highly advise you not to slouch all the time." L said bluntly, observing the younger.

Near rose a nonexistent eyebrow as he appraised the man.

"L. I appreciate the advice, but you apparently do not practice what you preach."

"Believe me, it's for the better."

"Why?"

L blinked as he suddenly had a flashback.

* * *

><p>Watari rolled his eyes watching the raven-haired man slouch, even as he walked, and decided it was time to take action.<p>

"L, I'm going to ask you to not slouch, it's not good for you."

L nodded slowly, for he didn't feel like arguing with the old man and promptly tried to straighten his back.

Two minutes and an extremely noisy crack later, L was on a stretcher to the hospital, cursing loudly in pain.

* * *

><p>"Just do as I say Near."<p>

* * *

><p>AN: I appreciate the reviews you guys left!

Oh, btw the street Misa chapter came from " A Day with L and Light" on youtube. Go watch it XD

And oh sweet baby jesus anonbro gave a really good idea! Go leave "if" situations you want to happen in the reviews and I'll try to do most of them!


	7. If L fell off a Cliff

If L fell off a Cliff and Light was the only one there

Watari had _forced _L to come to the outside world with him (claiming it was just too unhealthy to stay in his room 24/7, it was for his own good, etc.), to the Grand Canyon of all things!

Of course, L had forced Light to come with them, so he wouldn't be as utterly bored out of his mind. And handcuffed him again to prevent escape (among other reasons), much to Light's chagrin.

So now L and Light were standing tiredly in the sweltering heat in front of the brilliant colors of the canyon, standing in front of the skimpy railing. L was still bored.

"Light-kun."

"What."

"Are you Kira?"

"No, we've been over this!"

"Kira."

"I'm NOT Kira, you ass."

"I do not believe name-calling is very mature, Light-kun."

"My god! Just shut up L! My head aches because of the heat and I honestly don't need you to make it worse! Ugh!" Light nearly shrieked in irritation. L blinked at him.

"I noticed you used 'god' Light-kun. Does 'god' mean a certain person?"

"Shut the hell up, for Pete's sake."

And L was quiet. For 3 (blissful, blissful for Light) minutes.

"Light-kun, did you ever notice your surname backwards is 'Imagay'?"

"AGHHH!" the brunet screamed angrily, punching L with his clenched fist, which promptly sent L flying over the rail.

Abruptly the chain cuff around his wrist tugged painfully, following the other end, and Light spoke.

"Fuck."

* * *

><p>A.N: Situation by anonbro 'YeahBuddy'<p> 


	8. If Matt and Mello Found Their Fanbase

If Matt and Mello found their Yaoi fanbase

Matt was bored. Just plain boreedd. And tired. Very tired.

L had nothing for him to hack, he finished every single mission on that new online game, Mello had accidentally sat on his video game CDs (Matt had fainted once he heard the horrifying cracking of the disks and Mello's boisterous cursing) , and now… all he had was the internet.

So needing _some_ kind of technology, he decided to surf the web and out of curiosity he searched up his name, and somehow links about HIM and his REAL pictures were actually there! Not some random-ass people with his name, but him! Vaguely creeped out but curious he clicked a link called "MELLO/MATT 5EVA!" and promptly spurted out the milk he was sipping out of his nose.

"MELLO! COME HERE!" the redhead yelled as he grasped his nose painfully and snorted.

"What is it?" Mello snapped and he sauntered over. Matt stabbed a finger towards the computer, and Mello leaned towards it, frowning. On the screen was a picture of a certain red-head on top of a blonde. Both characters screaming out very familiar names with an incredible expression on each of their faces.

"… Matt. What the hell do you draw in your free time?"  
>" I DIDN'T DRAW THAT! I FOUND IT LOOKING FOR MY NAME ON THE INTERNET!" Matt hissed hysterically. "It's creepy! We're best friends! D'you think Near did this for revenge?"<p>

"_Him?_ Of course that albino didn't do it! It has to be creepy yaoi fangirls who would waste time on the internet drawing and looking up stories about us, 'cause we're sexy! God! I bet someone even wrote about this exact situation right here, finding our yaoi fanbase!" Mello exclaimed passionately, Matt looking incredibly disturbed.

"Ugh, excuse me. I'm gonna go waste time at the video game shop store and try to replace those games that your fat arse broke, to burn that image out of my mind." Matt mumbled, striding quickly out the front door, wearing a heavy, baggy jacket for a certain reason.

Mello continued to stare at the bright screen and then walked to his own room, intending to search up more. You know. Just curiosity.

* * *

><p>AN: 'If' situation submitted by 'DeathNoteLOL'


	9. If Misa was Pregnant

If Misa Was Pregnant

Misa had to be incredibly sure that she was right.

That she had a…_baby _in her flawless tummy.

In Misa's morning ritual, her preening session would normally go A-okay, but while smiling sweetly at the mirror, body facing sideways, she saw something off. Her stomach had a slight bulge! Misa squealed excitedly and she twirled joyfully with her hand on where her supposed baby was. It had to be Light's baby!

And so she was at the headquarters and she stood shyly in front of her true love (who was chained to L still) who both watched her confusedly, wondering why the blonde wasn't all over Light(although Light was grateful). And then Misa blurted out,

"I have your baby Light!"

All was silent in the room. _Cricket, cricket._

_Thunk. _Light fainted and fell off his chair. L nearly suffocated from his cake, gagging on it.

Misa squeaked, tears of joy springing to her eyes, knowing that Light must have been so excited!

L eyed the unconscious teen on the floor, sighed, and walked up to Misa. He prodded her normally flat stomach ("Ouch!") and gave the girl a strange stare.

"Misa, what did you eat last night?"

"I ate donuts because I was celebrating my new shoot!"

"You are not pregnant. You're bloated."

"…But, it has to be Light's baby! I hug him all the time!"

"Misa. People can't get pregnant from hugging other. "

"They can't?"

"What do you think sexual intercourse is?"

"It's for fun, that what my friend said… I didn't know that you had to have sex to get pregnant…"

L sighed again, and walked towards the fallen Light. He squatted and poked the teen's face.

"Hnn? What… happen… unnn… pregnant…baby...Misa…" Light murmured incoherently.

"Light-kun, you are not a father, Misa's just bloated."

Now, it was Light's turn to cry for joy.

* * *

><p>AN: 'If' situation by 'MidnightStorm34 '


	10. If L and Ide were Related

If L and Ide were related

As soon as Hideki Ide and the rest of the force had entered into the famous, mysterious detective L's apartment, and met L himself, Ide had nearly shrieked in joy.

"Brother!" he cried out tearfully and stumbled over to L, hugging his feet.

L stared horrified at the _creature_ hanging onto his precious feet, drooling over his toes, and kicked the man off frantically.

"Brother!" Hideki whimpered to the detective.

"I have no clue as to who you are, officer. Please do not pounce on me as you please." L stated bluntly, hiding his terror well in callousness. The other officers gaped at the scene silently, disturbed.

"You have to be my brother!"

"I have no relations to you, why would you assume that?"

"We both don't have eyebrows!" L gave the man an incredible stare, the completely ridiculous logic bamboozling the man.

"Unfortunately for you, officer-san, just because we both have nonexistence eyebrows does NOT mean we are related." L drawled dully.

"What?" Ide whispered weakly. L nodded and Ide sniffed sadly and got up to walk back the shocked others.

And so Ide left L's taskforce due to the trauma.

* * *

><p>AN: 'If' situation submitted by 'Sonar'

Loool, I had no idea who the heck was Ide until I searched him up, and at first I was confused by the request. XD

Also, btw try to only request one request per review per chap, 'Kay sweeties?

Reviews make chapters come out faster.


	11. If Light was Ugly

If Light was Ugly

A love baby of a cactus and an obscenely obese hamster. That was a _perfect _description of Yagami Light.

Now, Light was not a pretty being. But he was smart-wait, scratch that- fucking brilliant beyond compare(and he knew it, and thought anyone who could ever be on his level would be freak, like maybe an insomniac who ate sweet every minute of every hour of everyday equipped with an incredibly creepy stare.)

Because Mr. Imagay wasn't exactly easy on the eyes (his appearance could probably send Bloody Mary screaming away, eyes bleeding), people thought he was the typical creepy basement dweller, fat and stupid, never failing to mock and make fun at him.

Unfortunately, his brain was the only thing that would be appealing to others, for his uncontrollable eau-de-sweat fragrance did absolutely_ nothing_ to help, sending people scattering wherever he waddled by, so he was always flying solo.

_Boy,_ the reactions when they found out he was top in Japan, people having a near damn aneurism.

Staring dully out the window during class his chocolate brown eyes widened curiously as he witnessed a black notebook literally fall out of the sky. As soon as class ended, he walked to the elevator(huffing and puffing tiredly for some odd reason) and went straight to the object on the grass as soon as he got out.

Oh, he just couldn't resist! He just had to see what it was!

Bending down, he reached for the notebook-

_Ripppppp._

And promptly tore a large hole smack dab on target. (Definitely not on his thigh.)

The entire campus shook violently with a mixture of hooting and horrified shrieks from the students.

Light screamed mortified and wobbled as fast he could away from the crime scene.

The notebook must have not been that important after all.

* * *

><p>AN: 'If' situation submitted by 'AnonymouslyStupid'

Pfttt. Am I retarded for laughing hysterically at my own writing? XD

If any of you noticed, the first sentence is a total and direct reference to 'Pretty' by Dlvvanzor, who honestly is one of my superrr favorite writers on FF ever. WHICH YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK OUT. (Especially 'Beautiful Disaster' had me sobbing, rolling in bed crazily.)

The Bloody Mary bit is there because the legend is that that sweet thang will FREAKIN' crawl through your mirror and scratch yo' eyes out man. Intense. (Got that from Supernatural, I used to just think she was just a normal freaky pee-in-pants ghoul. ^-^)

Read it, Love it, Review it.

Loves.


	12. If Misa was Smart

If Misa was smart

With Light she'd was Dim, Tar, Broken Lightbulb, _Pitch Black, _the total and complete _opposite _of Light.

Misa never _really _bothered about that incredible deep, deep, far, far abyss that separated Light and her intelligence levels apart, she was _Amane Misa_. But she started to worry.

L was able to watch Light _shower_, eat _together_, spent _all _day with him, L was allowed to watch Light sleep! Oh the injustice!

Misa fumed silently, complaining to her very popular blog about how Light wouldn't notice her now because he had someone smarter to be with and blinked as she read a comment that had instantly appeared as soon as she posted.

The facts:

1. It said that she could become a genius.

2. She would be the first person to try the medicine since he(commenter) adored her and it would take effect soon.

3. She got the medicine in the mail and took a weird pill.

So Misa visited her boyfriend the next day, perched on a soft couch in front of the two men.

"Lighttttt! I'm-!" the 'smart now' never made it past her lips, as she abruptly grasped her blonde head in agony, body trembling, and promptly passed out on the couch.

Light and L stared wide-eyed at the dead-looking female on the furniture then at each other then back at her.

'_What the hell? I didn't do thi- oh shit L probably thinks I did this.' _Light thought, irritated then sighing in relief as the model slowly began to sit up, for the sheer fact that he wasn't going to get arrested.

"Amane-san? What happened?" L asked cautiously, having an icy cold pit in his stomach, for _something wasn't right in the world_.

"It appears I have acquired a significant amount of knowledge in the last few miniscule seconds." Misa enunciated clearly and steadily, causing Light to choke basically on air, L on a strawberry that he had nearly swallowed whole.

"_What?"_ Light coughed violently.

Misa smiled obnoxiously towards L.

"You believe that I'm simply utilizing gargantuan idioms in order to fabricate intelligence? My deepest regards, you are incorrect."

_Misa's smart_? That was just too foreign a concept for the two males even consider, especially after that false alarm about the pregnancy.

All of a sudden the trio were shaken as the earth moved beneath them and they heard screams from everywhere. Light ran to the window and cried out,

"There's flying pigs out there!"

Ryuk glided in positively wearing a layer or solid ice, shaking horribly, voice hitching with panic.

"I-I went-t to v-visit H-Hell b-b-but it-t f-froze o-over-r!"

L turned on the television, worried. The lady in the pencil-skirt shrieked hysterically.

"ZOMBIES! ZOMBIES! EVERYWHERE! WE'RE GOING TO DIE- OH MY GOD! GET AWAY! GET AWAY! DON'T BITE--!"

Off went the telly. Light gasped horrified as he said,

"L? Is this-?" scared to finish.

L nodded gravely.

"Yes Light-kun. It's the apocalypse."

* * *

><p>AN: Situation submitted by ' .Lover '

YOYOYOYOYO. Hi. So I really hope you guys got that because MISA of all people became SMART, that impossibility started the apocalypse(end of the world). *laughing*

I don't really care who you are, where you're from, or what you did, as long as you love me.

Yea I seriously just quoted BSB. Before you ask, I just wanted to put that there, I'm a total N'sync girl darling.

Review please~! Leave 'If' situations if ya want! One per chappy please!

Yup yup love you guys.


	13. If Light Used a Puppy

If Light used a puppy for L's Demise

Light always wondered what could ever piss off the perfectly stoic, untouchable L. Light was just so _sick _of the fact that L had the insane ability to simply see through his entire being, his brilliant, complex mindset, his utter Einsteiness.

And so Light's ego decided to roar back with a crazy vengeance.

With one of the most horrifying things ever for an antisocial weirdo.

A bouncing ball of fur buzzing with energy, cute, fluffy, with huge sparkling eyes. And with cute little stumbling claws and a waggy tail.

A wide smirk spread across Light's face as he spotted his victim inhaling cakes in the kitchen, and he quickly released the puppy into the room from the doorway.

L's head turned curiously towards the soft _padpad _of the puppy's paws and furrowed his nonexistent eyebrows toward the animal. Both male and puppy cocked their heads to the side and L's eyes widened suddenly as he _swore _that the creature's eyes just _glowed red!_

The puppy bared his pearly white canines and literally jumped onto the counter behind L and created Jenny Craig's nightmare.

Yipping joyfully, the puppy went on an insane sweet sugar-coated rampage. _Splat!_ There goes those cookies! _Squish! _There goes the chocolate mousse! _Bamf_! That incredibly huge bowl of sugar!

Too shocked to move, the victim stared with eyes to comic proportions. In such little time, the little hellion had destroyed his _life, _L realized, horrified. He shut his eyes and simply saw crimson. His skull compressing, his chest heaving, his mind boiling with fury.

Oh no, oh no, oh no.

L let out an outraged yell suddenly whipping up his fork and drew his arm back like a hunter, ready to spear_ that little monster!_

"OH MY GOD!"

A scream escaped from a terrified Light's mouth, and his body quickly darted in to pull a Superman on the puppy, then he ran as fast as he could from that insomniac maniac.

Yeah, puppies.

Bad idea.

* * *

><p>AN: Situation submitted by anon.<p>

/literally crawls in after two weeks of state testing and a week of math finals/

S-sorry, loves! ;A;

Enjoy!


	14. If L took Revenge on Light

If L took Revenge on Light

Being cuffed on a chain together for what seemingly felt like forever got boring once in awhile. Even if that person you were chained to was a creepy, panda-like, insomniac.

One thing that Watari definitely learned was that two off the charts geniuses could be_ real petty _at times_._

The day after Light had purposely pulled a switcheroo with the salt and sugar, _everyone _believed that it would be the last that they'd ever see of Light ever again.

Disgracing sweets like that, well, to L that was on par to a normal person's feelings about someone thoroughly beating up their sweet old grandmamma.

Needless to say, everyone was very worried for Light. But since they were also were worried for _themselves_, so they kicked the two so-called geniuses outside to the park without the dreaded chain.

Light attempted to keep his face straight and well as L gave him a glare that could kill a pigeon in midair.

Walking along the path, the world's three greatest detectives abruptly walked in front of Light, and brushed by a plump, not-so-easy on the eyes, middle aged women. Light arched his brow very bewildered and was about to shrug it off when that lady turned around with a face of a murderer. Light very nearly whimpered horrified, and when he attempted to dodge her, she blocked his path looking incredibly evil.

Until she noticed Light's perfect face, where her expression suddenly turned sweet, and blushing, smoldering her eyes at him.

"Well, hi young man! Aren't you a tad young to be groping fine ladies like me?" She said giggling, batting hooded eyes at him. With settling horror in his stomach, Light realized what L had done and literally broke out in a full sprint, and to his terror she began chasing him.

L happily sat very satisfied on the park bench listening to the sound of Light's screams.

* * *

><p>AN:Situation submitted by ... me?<p>

Okay broskis and anonabros, I ask you one request per review :) If you don't do that, I'll just choose from one the situations you ask of me. :D

So I'll pull a High School Musical on you guys.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

IT'S SUMMAH TIME!

IT'S OUR VACATIONNNN!

There for look forward to more updates from! :'D Btw omomgomgogmogmogmogmogmg waiting for the final season of Supernatural is so sad! NOOOO I NEED MY BOYS! D: /wheezes/

-coughs- So anyways, Please enjoy and review! Love you all!


	15. If L was Bottom

If L was Bottom

Watari noticed that something was… off with L for the past six weeks. No, it wasn't his demeanor. He was as awkward and Einstein as he had always been. Maybe it was physical? Silently observing L, there was absolutely nothing different, having the same insomnia ridden eyes, the same pale skin, same shoeless state, and the same wild raven hair.

It _bothered _him that he didn't have an inkling of what was wrong.

Watari felt irritation bubbling in his chest, fighting down the urge to simply go up his young master and shake him violently, demanding what was different because it could be important, what if he was deadly sick and that was why something was off with him that he just couldn't notice, and oh my goodness perhaps he worried far too much for an old man.

He stood there in the corner of the room near L fighting down these urges to find out what was wrong until L stood up and walked to the kitchen. Watari's jaw literally dropped as he saw one of the most incredible things he'd seen in his long life.

_L was standing up straight. _

_6 weeks ago:_

With how long Light and L had been connecting mentally in their relationship, both parties saw no reason to hold back on going physical. Neither had a real big issue with who was bottoming or topping, so in the end L became uke.

L moaned as he finally reached his peak, Light gritting his teeth, sliding his eyes shut in pleasure.

Resting next to each other, basking in the afterglow, Light grinned as he contemplated the weeks to come. L glanced at him lying tiredly on his back.

"What are you grinning about Light-kun?"

"Just thinking about how our sessions together are way better than a chiropractor."

"What?" L gave him a weird look.

"Nevermind." Light smiled and considered the way L's back arched when he was climaxing. With how much he would make that happen, maybe his hunchback would go away.

* * *

><p>AN: Situation submitted by me.

Watari is such a cool old dude. Like as epic as Grampa Noble from Doctor Who and Alfred from Batman.

Hohoho. WHAT DID I JUST WRITE I DON'T EVEN KNOW OMG. Sorry for leaving for so long, but ugh. Life doesn't agree with me lately. Imma spare you the detail so yea and sorry.

Btw STEREK OMG STEREK 3 STILES BBY EYE RAB YEW SU MACH OMG. Jackson is finnnneeee ung. Ok I'll update like tommorow as a gift for being hella late. awhh yisss.


	16. If Near Was Sassy

If Near Were Sassy

Pink. _Hot _pink.

Near noted in horror, examining his previously snow-white hair in the mirror, after taking a shower. What. Why. _Who- _wait, scratch that. In Wammy's House it was pretty damn obvious.

Near glared at his reflection before letting out a frustrated shriek, and then promptly stormed out of the bathroom in his normal pajamas towards Mello's room.

Slamming the door open, Mello choked on his chocolate bar, Matt on the floor dropped his game and cigarette with comical wide eyes, both boys focused on Near's newly dyed hair.

"Oh my _GOSH!" _Near screamed at Mello. "How _COULD _you! This hair DOESN'T EVEN MATCH MY CLOTHES! HOW DARE YOU!"

"I don't know, did you use a new shampoo, albino bo- oops I mean _Strawberry Shortcake? I_ think it's rather fetching." Mello said, face splitting into a wide-ass grin as Near gave him a glare that could very well kill pigeons in mid-air.

"I can't _believe_ you! You are such an idiot-"

"_Someone _didn't look at what he was putting on his hair!"

"You put in the shampoo!"

"You have no proof it was me, _Strawberry Shortcake!"_

"_IT'S ALWAYS YOU, ASSHOLE!"_

"_JUST BECAUSE YOU FELL FOR IT-"_

"_WATCH YOUR LEATHER-CLAD FLAT ASS, BLONDIE, YOU'LL REGRET THIS-" _Mello gasped at the blasphemy.

"_MY ASS IS NOT FLAT! BRING IT ON NEAR!"_

Matt had a 'holy-mother-of-Zelda' look on his face before interrupting their boisterous conversation.

"Dude Mello, you're such a dick." Matt said, laughing hard.

"Matt, whatever, I mean- look at him! It's a masterpiece!" Mello snapped at him.

Near gave the two Wammy boys an evil look.

"Well, you ARE what you eat."

Matt's jaw dropped and Mello immediately flushed red, both avoiding looking at the other.

Near put his chin up triumphantly and strutted out the door before they could even come up with a retort.

* * *

><p>AN: Situation by me<p>

Get it? GET IT? :D

Hope you like this chappy! Read and review please! Enjoy!


	17. If Mello Became a Girl

If Mello Became a Girl

The moment Mello woke up and realized he had a rack, he let out an incredible, gay scream, and ran to the bathroom.

Analyzing his reflection in the mirror, his face was only slightly more feminine, blond hair the same. The only real noticeable difference was his new breasts. Poking his lower regions, Mello was disappointed to see that his manhood disappeared.

_But, _Mello reasoned, he was gay so that didn't really matter, did it?

Excitedly, he (she?) threw on his normal attire, except she slyly zipped the leather front scandalously low, giggling as she did it.

Mello strutted boldly into Wammy's cafeteria, slamming the door open with a loud _bang!_

Everyone glanced at him ("Mello, stop being so noisy!" yelled one of the kids) and promptly went back to their breakfast.

Mello's jaw dropped at the sheer ignorance in the room. He irritatedly climbed onto a table and threw his arms wide open.

"HELLO YOU STUPID WANKERS! Don't you even notice some DIFFERENT about me? Isn't this a home for geniuses!? " she screamed, positively seething.

"Calling us stupid then geniuses is an oxymoron."

"You look exactly the same, you fool."

"Mello, get off the table. You're ruining my digestion"

"You're so noisy, oh my god. Shut up!"

"You look as homosexual as you normally do."

Mello shrieked, stomping his foot, before storming out of the cafeteria.

"Someone's on their period." Near murmured tiredly, no idea how accurate he was. Mello soon did though.

* * *

><p>An hour later, one could peer in the Mello's room to find a depressed, hormonal teenage girl covered up in a blanket, crying, shoving chocolate into her mouth, yelling at the blaring TV, "FUCKING TEAM JACOB YOU STUPID BITCH UGH!"<p>

* * *

><p>AN: Situation submitted by 'Sora Ai-chan'<p>

Mello's obviously on Team Jacob. Pft everyone probably just thinks Mells just is in a drag. They wouldn't put it past him. Hohoho he's on his period too.

The response on the last chapter was OVERWHELMING OMG. I love you guys so much ugh it hurts.

DUUDDEEE TEEN WOLF UGH am totes shipping Sterek and Scott/Isaac

HEYYYY Vote for the Ultimate Slash Madness Tourney! Even Jack Barrowman(Captain Jack Harkness) commented on it. *criesbecause ilovehim*]

AGHHH AMY AND RORY THEY CANNOT DIVORCE BECAUSE THEY ARE PERFECT UGH

Enjoy and Review please!


	18. If Mello Was Sick

If Mello was Sick

Mello could _swear _that with that last cough, his lung almost came up. He shuddered violently under his covers.

"Mmmattt!" he wheezed painfully. "Get me the pills."

The mentioned male grunted from his side of the room and pulled himself away from his new DS game, disgruntled. Grabbing a bottle and a glass of water of the table he made his way to Mello, sending him a threatening glare as he dropped a single pill onto his hand.

"Don't you _dare _sneeze your nasty pathogens on me, Mells. You totally did that on purpose yesterday. Do that again and I'll castrate you."

"Give me the damn pills."

"Fine, but be careful, the pills are kinda big."

Mello gave him a ridiculously well smirk for someone almost on their deathbed.

"Ha, Matty. If there's something I'm good at, it's swallowing."

Matt turned red as he quickly threw the bottle at Mello's head, smiling as he conked out.

* * *

><p>AN: Situation submitted by mmeee.<p>

I swear this story is getting gayer and gayer each chapter. :'D

So I don't think anyone liked last chapter because it got few reviews. (;A;) Oh well, thanks for the ones that did review!

I spent all day yesterday looking for Master/Doctor stories and fanart. They are so good for each other ugh.

I started watching 'To the Beautiful You' today(procrastinating) and it's good~ Eun gyeol I love so much. But I still prefer the first Hana Kimi. I miss Toma as Nakatsu D

Enjoy and review you dynamic individuals!


	19. If L Could Read Minds

If L Could Read Minds

L, as everyone knows, was a complete and utter, off-the-charts genius who was constantly plagued with boredom.

However, what people _don't _know is that L _could read minds. _

As a genius child even then he was drowning in the dullness of life, ending up reading all the books in Wammy's house, and one of his most favorite books was not, as you might guess, Dickens, Shakespeare, Hemingway, Einstein's raggedy notes, or Leonardo Davinci's, but Roald Dahl's _Matilda._

Completely set off on that idea that he, like Matilda, could have an inane amount of energy in his mind from doing virtually nothing mentally stimulating, he had the ability to somehow be telepathic, or something along those lines.

He managed to accomplish this, however, as time went on, he realized mind-reading made things much more dull, as simply reading the minds of suspects he was made to interrogate would kill the fun out of all of it. So he ended deeming himself far too intelligent to keep using his ability.

Until Yagami Light entered his life that is. Yagami Light was so obviously (to L anyways) Kira, but he was so very skilled at hiding it.

The thing is he was fairly sure the teen had also read _Matilda_, and somehow got that L could do the same, because when L decided to use it, Light's thoughts were far too strange to be normal.

L could _swear _that Light could sense his _aura _somehow, for sometimes there was no way he could know the detective was there, for example standing outside his door, immediately L could sense his thoughts changing.

Thinking about philosophy, sure, that could be normal, and plotting against L in that angry teenage boy type of thinking (that not really helping Light's case) was acceptable as typical behavior.

However, when Light would pretend to be horny and normal by looking at raunchy magazines, the only thing L could read from his mind was at what a hassle it was to look at women. _That_, was not very normal teen boy.

More than half the time, when L would skim over his thoughts subtly, _gay porn _of all things came up_._

L really had no clue as to whether Light just thought of it quickly to cover up his original thoughts, and that was the first to pop up because of his last name or he really just thought about gay porn that much.

But really, L was starting to believe it was the latter.

And he did not mind at all.

* * *

><p>AN: Situation submitted by anonabro 'Random persion'

Was hoping that 100 reviews would be reached by last chapter, but oh well.

Read, Enjoy, and review!

-SCC


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